An open letter to birthmothers at Christmas
It’s Christmastime and perhaps this is your first Christmas as a birthmother, your 30th, or somewhere in between or beyond.
Wherever you are in your journey, I know as a birthmother myself that Christmas doesn’t pass without thoughts of the child you placed for adoption.
Where is she? Is she having fun?
What are his family’s Christmas traditions? Is he thinking of me, too?
I wonder if we will ever spend Christmas together?
Whether you have completely come to terms with your adoption experience, are sharing in the Christmas festivities with the adoptive family, or feel like you’re being consumed with emotion over your adoption plan and you don’t even know what to feel, I want you to know you are not alone.
The first Christmas was most likely riddled with emotions and questions, too! Can you imagine being Mary, the mother of Jesus? A few short months earlier she was told by an angel she would be giving birth to God’s Son. What?! And now, here she is in a stable because there was no place for her to give birth. What?! I think it is safe to imagine that she had some expectations that went unmet and there were probably a few questions going through her mind.
Is this really what God had in mind? Does God see me? Has He forgotten me?
Perhaps she had these thoughts. Perhaps she didn’t. One thing we know she did though was she treasured that first Christmas (Luke 2:19).
I don’t know where you are with your adoption plan. Maybe it turned out to be more than you could ever have dreamed of. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe it’s nothing like you expected and you’re heartbroken right now. Maybe you’re like Mary and you are soaking in every moment.
No matter where you are, God sees you and He hasn’t forgotten you! He is faithful to all who trust in Him, just as He was to Mary. Even though things may not have looked like she thought they would, God was with her. He provided for her and her baby just like He is doing for you and yours.
Sometimes life can throw some pretty big surprises our way. My prayer for you this Christmas is that no matter where you are in your adoption journey you can spend this Christmas knowing God is faithful, He is near, and He is only a whisper away.
Dear Heavenly Father,
As my fellow birthmothers enter into this Christmas season I pray you will surround them with peace and comfort as only you can. Let us spend this season knowing you are not surprised by where we have found ourselves and help us to embrace your love. Help us to remember you make beautiful things out of broken pieces and help us take hold of the joy you brought to us over 2,000 years ago.
Help us to remember that you brought your love down to us in the form of a baby and that you love us right where we are. You’re never surprised by unplanned pregnancies or by adoption plans for you are the author and creator of both. Meet us wherever we are, Lord, and help us see this season with new eyes and a new appreciation for you and what you’ve done for us. We love you, Lord. Thank you for loving us.
In your Son’s precious name, Amen.
Merry Christmas, my friends!
Lisa received her M.A. in Human Services Counseling in Marriage and Family from Liberty University and joined Covenant Care in 2016. She serves birthmothers in the Savannah and Coastal Georgia area. Lisa brings her perspective as a wife, mother and birthmother to her work at Covenant Care. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org, or by phone or text at 912-401-4840.